Justice Boy and the Knight in Spandex Armor
by D-Scythe
Summary: A heero and Wuffie fic with a lot of author intervention! Some langauge and cliche bashing. Hope you like it! Please review and tell me what you think! Flamers accepted!


Disclaimer: Many thanks to Mistoffelees, Mystera, and Nightheart. Thanks to the confusion you caused I was able to escape the cell. Now as I hope I have made clear, I don't own Gundam Wing. *flatens self against wall to avoid search light* Crap, do you hear a helicopter? *breaks for the forest* hope you like it!...  
  
Justice Boy and the Knight in Spandex Armor  
  
The Gundam pilots were surrounded. The Taurusses had ambushed them outside the L5 colony. In the Wing Zero, Heero desperately attempted to stave off the hoard, but there were too many of them. They had been fighting for nearly two hours. Mobile Dolls never tire but the same can not be said of humans. They had been pushed well beyond their limits.  
  
To his left Heero saw the Altron Gundam disappear in an iridescent blast. Then spinning around he saw a beam speeding towards him. The world became white...  
  
And stayed white. Heero looked around. He was dressed in his typical clothes. A few feet away stood a very confused Wufie.  
  
Wuffie arched an eyebrow, "Are we dead?"  
  
Heero shook his head, "No this seems too familiar..."  
  
Wuffie groaned, "Oh no not the..."  
  
My voice resounds, "That's right Justice Boy! The Big White Room!"  
  
Heero stares around angrily and groans, "Damnit! From the intro I thought this might be a good fic! Come on whoever you are, let us out!"  
  
"Oh no you don't. I'm going to have some fun. Hmmm... which cliché to inflict on you first..."  
  
Wuffie has a look of abject horror on his face as Heero begins to rock back and forth on his heels and pray, "Please not Yoai. Anything but Yoai..."  
  
"No no no, that would be to kind for the Knight in Spandex armor.'  
  
"You son of of a bitch! Don't you ever call me that!" Heero screams as he unloads a clip into the ceiling.  
  
Wuffie sweatdrops.  
  
Heero rounds on him and mutters, "I hate that name!"  
  
"He he he. Oooohkay. As I was saying..." They're suddenly standing in the Peacecraft mansion living room. Releena walks in.  
  
Smiling she indicates the decorated room. "Hello Wuffie. it's so nice you could make it to our party. The other guests will be arriving soon."  
  
She walks away as Heero and Wuffie stare at each other in horror. Heero mutters to Wuffie, "He's out of his mind! These parties always end with Duo drunk, Quatre dead, you unconscious, Trowa asleep, and me whining about property damage. I can't take much more of this!"  
  
"I heard that! You will pay for your insolence!" ZAP! (cool effect huh?) Heero and Wuffie find themselves chained to chairs sitting at a fold out table. They're in a large convention hall with cheap decorations. A bunch of people in cheap wanna-be Gundam costumes are lined up in front of them.  
  
Wuffie leans over, "Where are we? I don't recognize this fic," he whispers. Heero shrugs.  
  
A fat boy in a GW T-shirt steps forward and thrusts a picture of Heero onto the table. Automatically Heero begins to sign it. The boy begins to speak, "So Heero, I was wondering, how come in the first episodes you kept trying to kill yourself and not do mission. Wouldn't it have been better to-"  
  
Heero pulls himself as far away as possible and screams, "Ahg No! It's a fan! We're in a ANIME CONVENTION! We have to sign pictures and answer their stupid questions!"  
  
The fan continues undisturbed as if he hadn't heard, "-it said so on the official site, but in the comic books they said you used a-"  
  
"Please get us out of here!" Heero yells.  
  
"This is injustice! I refuse to answer the questions of these onas!" (Can you tell who said that?)  
  
I think for a moment, "Nah, I don't think so. Well maybe..."  
  
"Maybe what, you weak fool?"  
  
I grin evilly, "you have to answer his questions."  
  
Heero gags, "but I haven't been paying attention." He indicates the fan, who is now rattling on and on about how the color of Heero's eyes is slightly different in episode 36 than episode 37. He checked since he watches every episode every day at least ten times.  
  
I grin evilly again. "Ask him to repeat it."  
  
"I'd rather die! He is weak! He is unworthy! This is INJUSTICE! I demand Justice!" Wuffie screams as he begins frothing at the mouth.  
  
"Hmm this is getting boring. Ooh ooh! I know! Who wants to go on a ROAD TRIP! immediately they find themselves crammed into a VW beetle with the rest of the pilots, Zechs, Treiz, Lady Un, the doctors, Al Gore and George W. Bush. Heero is driving.  
  
Duo shouts in surprise, "How the hell did we get here!?"   
  
Wuffie growls, "Sociopathic omnipotent author."  
  
Bush starts talking about health care while Gore talks about inventing the toaster. Everyone in the car gives deathglare x1 million! The car pulls over and then drives away. Bush and Gore are left lying on the side of the road.  
  
Treiz sniffs the air, "Did someone here eat garlic for lunch?"  
  
Zechs grins sheepishly. Heero looks to the sky and screams, "If you have any mercy at all let me die!"  
  
I nod. "Yeah this is getting boring." The car disappears and Heero and Wuffie are standing in the white room again. "I'm tired. Goodbye."  
  
"Injustice! You don't just leave us here!"  
  
"Quiet or I make you dance!"  
  
Heero snorts, "You can't make us dance." As soon as the words left his mouth Wuffie starts doing the Macceraina.  
  
"Did you just say 'can't'?"  
  
"No sir." Heero mumbles.  
  
I vanish and leave them to find their own way out of the big white room! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA!   
________________________________________________________________________  
  
*hiding in a ravine* Tell me what you think! I hope you liked. And if anyone can get me across that canyon over there it would be greatly appreciated...  
  



End file.
